12 years ago on the 20th December, Alec and I stepped through a very special door.
The door to our very first home together.
This quaint 2 up 2 down, started life as a worker’s cottage.
It’s modest features echoed happiness, nothing to grand, but all perfectly formed.
After a year, we grew our family of 2, into 3, with Scrumpy dog.
This little scallywag, really understood pushing his first time parents to the brink, with one broken leg, then losing his top left row of teeth all before his first birthday.
Even more surreal, was neither Alec or I knew the cause of this accident.
But if I was the betting type, it would be a close race between a deer kicking him or he ran into a tree.
This first taste of responsibility should have put us off for life.
But pleasingly we learnt when things got tough, we naturally gravitated closer to each other.
A true testimony of our relationship which encouraged strong foundations to build upon.
Which encouraged us to take the next step within our relationship and in 2014 we said our vows.
Not once, but twice, within weeks of one another.
The first was a small affair to make it official, registry office with a picnic lunch in our garden.
Then the second was a larger event within a Tipi at my best friend’s farm.
Very different feels, but both oozed us.
Nothing posh, just relaxed and fun.
Like most things within our lives, we value the people rather than the show.
After a couple of years of fun as newlyweds, we started contemplating life.
Like all serious life choices, we discussed it amongst a crowd of strangers at a festival.
If we where on trend, we would have named Billy after the artist preforming.
But I don’t think he would have appreciated Annie or Mac.
So, in 2017, it was the year of the baby and the extension.
And it was like buses, simultaneously to be exact.
May have seen crazy by most, but for us it was now or never.
The labour started and the original extension was being demolished.
So, by the time Billy returned home, our 2 up 2 down had reduced in size, to a 1 up 1 down, with a make shift kitchen and a bathroom that only had a toilet.
So, Billy’s first home was a little drafty, dusty, and full of jolly work men.
Over the next year, our workers cottage blossomed into a magnificent family home.
It’s new open plan, indoor outdoor living space with an upstairs bathroom, oozed a little luxury.
Which pulled our modest workers cottage into the present.
As the property thrived, Billy deteriorated and the blur started.
The diagnosis,
The 8-month admission, minus 2 or 4 weeks,
The pre-transplant isolation,
The Transplant,
The post-Transplant isolation,
The Anaphylactic shocks,
The predictable hospital admissions, in a week out a week,
The Biliary drains,
The pre Reconstructive surgery isolation,
The Reconstructive surgery,
The outbreak of Covid,
The Covid isolation,
The PTLD stage 3 Cancer,
The pre Cancer treatment isolation,
The Chemotherapy and Antibody Therapy,
The post treatment isolation,
And properly so much more, which I’m finding hard to recall.
The blur was very blurry.
But somehow, we did manage to survive and juggle all the commitments that were thrown at us.
Even grumpy Scrumpy.
For him, his life dramatically changed.
He moved in with a friend of mine and her family.
After a short period of pining for us, he moved his allegiance to my friend and made himself at home.
Throughout this year, he ate socks, chewed on toys, watered the rug, sat on the kitchen side, broke the blind, cleaned the kids, and ate forbidden food.
But, somehow, she fell in love with him and he with her.
Thank God we had her, otherwise the inevitable would have happened.
On Scrumpy’s return, the house started to feel complete again.
Over the next 3 years, slowly but surely, Billy also became more present within our home.
At first Scrumpy was a little put out, but started to realise that to have us all together it meant this little person needed to be present.
So, the disgruntled huffs and the looks of disapproval dissolved and grew into much appreciated games of fetch and snuggles.
By the time Billy had his obligatory first day at school photo beside the front door, the tide had turned.
Billy’s life moved from endless hospital stays to frequent appointments.
This created predictability within our lives and allowed us to have a firm connection with home.
A bolt hole that offered security and a safe space to recover.
As Billy grew stronger, the people around him mirrored his contentment.
It offered us all a place to take check and rebuild the broken individuals we had become.
Slowly but surely this sanctuary allowed us to let go of the strong fight or flight instinct and start to re-regulate our tolerance levels to judge trauma affectively.
As we repaired physically and mentally, the more we appreciated and respected life.
Which moved us from accepting our fate to seizing the day.
Which opened our lives to except more opportunities that would present themselves.
Like the first time we were able to get a family travel insurance.
And in the moment, we booked to see Father Christmas in Lapland.
A once in a lifetime trip, just in case we couldn’t leave the British Isles again.
Or the times we have just got up and made an off the cuff plan.
All in the name of making memories.
Over the years this home gave us stability, predictability, and happiness when life was a little shaky for us.
It never failed to serve its purpose and never let us down.
In some ways it was our ‘old faithful’
So, on the 3rd October 2024, it was hard to say goodbye to this ‘old faithful’.
But sometimes you can out grow even the ‘old faithful’s’ within your life.
As we packed, we reminisced until it became time to close the ‘old faithful’s’ door one last time.
The last glance of appreciation, the final deep breath before we close the door to this chapter.
To then open the door to our new home, our new beginning as a family of 4.
Hopefully with time this will become our ‘old faithful’ forever more.
Remember you may not feel strong but you are
Love
The Rose-Tinted Mum
The Rose Tinted mum 