The 1st of May is a day I will never forget, it was the day I watched my father take his last breaths.
After a long brave fight with the big C, he allowed the beast to take him on his terms.
He didn’t give up, but just resided himself that his days, minutes and seconds were numbered.
Medics had done all they could to help him and the prognoses was bleak.
So, at 7.30pm he took his last breath with his family around him, he was at peace for the first time in forever.
So yesterday I spent the morning enjoy my dad’s allotment, his pride, and joy.
Whilst I worked on planting out the seedlings, we chatted, I cried and I thought of what Dad would have said.
So, ‘The Potting Shed’ was written this time last year on the first anniversary of Dad’s passing.
Enjoy xxx
As I sit in your spot, I can feel you
Hoping for a glimpse of times gone by
The conversation
The silence
The insignificant touch
The nudge of the elbow and side pass of a homemade treat
All signs of ‘I’ve got you,’ from the man that found affection so hard.
Since you have gone, I have found comfort from the old patio chair, the one I so deeply loathed when you were here
At times I have lost hours whilst contemplating life decisions and cursing you for leaving me with such hard choices on my own
But within these struggles and fights on my own, I have learnt you have prepared me for this moment
By teaching me to be strong, encouraged me to fight and reminded me often that it’s ok to give your heart to another you love
My protector, my guide, my first love.
As I go through the seasons, I continue to sit in our spot
Soul searching
Reminiscing
Admiring the fruits of our labour
Savouring this shared vision
Silently mourning
But, also knowing you would say
‘Life is too short, live it, don’t mourn it’.
As a year passes, I continue to sit and feel you
Realising that the numbness from the paralysation of my own emotions has subsided to a place I can accept the new world around me
Excepting that a piece of my heart will be gone forever
The price you pay for love.
As I sit, I realise we are still sitting
Chatting, laughing, bickering
But, most importantly we continue to sit
Forever,
shoulder to shoulder.
Remember you may not feel strong but you are.
Love
The Rose-Tinted Mum
The Rose Tinted mum 